Number 10—Ronnie Morgan, the six-foot-five
forward and co-captain of the Howard University men’s basketball
team—he led the Bison in scoring and rebounds, averaging six steals
per game, shooting eighty-five percent from the free-throw line. And
on top of all that, he was fine! Ronnie was so fine that he made my
eyes water.
My knowledge of Ronnie wasn’t limited
to his basketball stats. Ronald Steven Morgan, Jr., was from Brooklyn,
New York. He was a senior and a hospitality-management major. He had
an older sister, Raina, who was twenty-seven and a younger brother named
Robert, who was eighteen. His parents owned two restaurants and a nightclub.
Howard’s football team was alright
but the basketball team had been to the Mid-Eastern Atlantic Conference
(MEAC) finals the past three years, so that made Ronnie a big man on
campus. It also meant every girl on campus wanted him. I guess I fell
into that category too. All the attention never seemed to go to his
head though. He was real cool about it.
Since I was a finance major, Ronnie and
I both took most of our classes at the School of Business, and I would
always see him around campus. I finally met him one night sophomore
year after one of our home basketball games.
My best friend, Erika had set her sights
on David Washington, the other co-captain of the basketball team. She
finally decided to make her move that night. She wanted to wait for
the team to come out of the gymnasium and of course, I had to wait too.
We were sitting outside on her car freezing our butts off. It had to
have been almost thirty degrees that night. After waiting about a half
hour, I was about to leave.
"Come on, Stace, five more minutes,”
Erika begged.
Five minutes came and went.
"E, it’s cold as hell out
here. I’m ’bout to be out.” Dave was a nice-looking
brother but not all that for me to be freezing. Just as I was getting
ready to leave, he and Ronnie walked out of the door. Now Ronnie Morgan
was a reason for me to freeze. Dave smiled at Erika, noticeably happy
to see her.
"Sorry I took so long. I was waiting
for my boy Ron,” Dave explained.
"That’s okay,” Erika
responded, smiling widely.
She was so busy being in Dave’s
face that she didn’t even introduce me. I nudged her to make sure
I would get my introduction.
"Oh, ah Dave, this is my best friend,
Stacey.”
"What’s up, Stacey?”
Dave said, shaking my hand. “This is my man Ron.”
Ronnie said, “Nice to meet you,
Stacey,” and extended his hand. When my hand touched his, it was
the first time in my life that my knees actually buckled.
"Nice to meet you too,” I
replied, smiling almost uncontrollably.
After that night, whenever Ronnie saw
me on campus, he would make it a point to speak. I loved the way he
said, “How you doing, Stace?” with his New York accent.
He made my name sound so sexy.
That was the extent of our relationship
until the summer of 1999. I had been going out with this guy named Patrick
Smith almost two years but was growing more and more confused about
my feelings toward him.
I met Patrick at the beginning of my
sophomore year. We were both registering for some business classes when
we literally bumped into each other. Well, he actually bumped into me.
At the time I didn’t mind much because I thought he was kind of
cute. He had just transferred to Howard from the University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill. He had a falling out with the basketball coach
there. Apparently, Patrick thought he was good enough to be a starter
but the Chapel Hill coach didn’t. It wasn’t that Patrick
didn’t have a little game but he was in school on an academic
scholarship so he was a walk-on for the team. There really wasn’t
another starting spot for him. He still argued the point though. When
the coach didn’t budge, Patrick transferred. I guess he figured
since he was coming from a big-time Atlantic Coast Conference school
that he was a shoe-in to start at Howard…wrong! Much to his surprise,
he rode the bench for a whole season before he became a starter. He
was really salty about it but he knew his parents, well mainly his father,
wasn’t going to let him transfer again.
Patrick was an only child. He and his
mother were really close, but he was a carbon copy of his father in
every sense, right down to their need to be the center of attention.
Just as with Patrick, many people perceived Mr. Smith as conceited and
arrogant. A lot of people, including my twin big brothers, Devin and
Kevin, couldn’t stand Patrick because of this fact. I have to
admit he did know he was nice looking and had no problem letting everyone
else know. That conceitedness was some kind of persona he felt the need
to keep up for people on campus, especially his Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity
brothers. But Patrick was still cool with me because when we were alone,
he wasn’t like that at all. We would study together a lot and
sometimes go to the movies. After a while, I really started liking him
and, eventually, we started going together.
When Patrick was born, his father had high hopes for his only son. He
wanted him to follow in his footsteps. Mr. Smith had attended the University
of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and played championship basketball
with Michael Jordan. So when Patrick had his little issue with the coach
at Chapel Hill and transferred to Howard, his father wasn’t too
happy. Then Patrick’s 3.0 grade point average didn’t sit
well with his father, since he had been a 4.0 student throughout college.
Mr. Smith had very high expectations and Patrick wasn’t meeting
them as far as he was concerned. The only thing he was happy with Patrick
about was becoming an Alpha just as he had.
During a trip home to New Jersey one
weekend in October, Patrick found out his mother had breast cancer.
He was devastated. What hurt him more was he found out that both his
mother and father had known about the cancer for a while, almost a year.
His mother said she didn’t want him worrying about her, and his
father said he had to respect his wife’s wishes. That decision
on his father’s part added to the deterioration of his and Patrick’s
already strained relationship.
Patrick wasn’t planning on coming
back to school but his mother insisted that he return. His body was
there but his mind was in New Jersey. He walked around like a zombie
most of the time. Then on November 11, 1998, at 3:45 p.m., his whole
world came crashing down when he got the call from his uncle. His mother
had passed away.
From that time on, it seemed like Patrick
and his father drifted farther and farther apart. His father had lost
his only love, and Patrick lost his beloved mother. But neither of them
could find a way to acknowledge the other’s lost. Mr. Smith threw
himself into his work; only calling Patrick to chew him out about his
schoolwork, and Patrick started not caring about school at all. His
mother was the person who always encouraged him. With her gone, he was
skipping classes and hanging out with his frat brothers more.
The relationship between Patrick and
his father continued to go downhill and by spring semester of our junior
year, things had gotten really bad. Patrick had been relatively low
maintenance up until that point. But as things got worse between he
and his father, he turned to me for comfort and support, which was natural
since I was his girlfriend. My problem was my feelings for him weren’t
the same as they had been. I was secretly still holding out for Ronnie
Morgan. But Patrick and I had been through so much together up to that
point that I couldn’t bring myself to leave the relationship even
though I knew we were growing farther apart every day.
I’m convinced that God definitely
has a sense of humor because around the same time that I was going through
those changes with Patrick, I began noticing Ronnie staring at me. I
had been at Howard for three years with not so much as a second look
from him, but since I was seeing someone, now he decided to show some
interest. Yeah, I was convinced; God was getting a big kick out of that.
Erika and Dave were pretty serious by
this time so Ronnie and I found ourselves in the same company a lot.
When I would catch him staring, he made no effort to stop. But with
all the stress Patrick was adding to my life, I just brushed it off.
When summer break came, Patrick reluctantly
went back home to Jersey to work at his father’s accounting firm,
like he had done every summer. I thought that was kind of strange because
the two of them hadn’t been able to stay in a room together for
more than five minutes without arguing since his mother died. But I
was so drained emotionally that I was glad he was going to be gone for
the whole summer. At least I wouldn’t feel so suffocated by him
for the next three months.
Ronnie stayed in town to take a class
his adviser had suggested, and Dave had gotten an internship downtown,
so Erika and I ended up hanging out with the guys a lot. We went to
the movies, to the park and out clubbing. It gave me an opportunity
to really get to know Ronnie better. One afternoon we all decided to
meet up at Hains Point, a popular summertime hangout spot in D.C.
Erika Matthews had been my best friend
since we were five years old. She was the first person I met when my
family moved to Upper Marlboro, Maryland, from Northwest D.C. We were
more like sisters than friends. Growing up in a house with three brothers,
it was nice to have someone around to talk to about girl stuff.
"What would you say if I told you
Dave and I we were thinking about moving in together?” Erika asked
as we headed up I-295 toward Hains Point.
"For real? When did this come about?”
I asked.
"Well we’re just talking about
it now.”
"What do you think Ma will say about
that?” I asked.
She laughed.
"Oh, we both know what Ma will say
about it. ‘It’s a sin to live together out of wedlock,’”
she said, mocking her mother’s high-pitched voice. “But,
you know, I’m on my own, and I’m going to make my own decisions,
and I will deal with my own judgment. When the time comes, she ain’t
goin’ be the one held accountable, I am.”
"Yeah, you’re right but just
don’t rush into anything, girl.”
"Oh, I won’t,” she assured
me.
If Erika was talking about it, she had
already made up her mind. She was just running it past me to see what
I thought. My only concern was her getting in too deep, too soon. I
didn’t want to see her hurt. I had to admit Dave was really cool.
He was from Philly. He was a nice-looking brother—six-five, brown
skin with a slim build. He was a little too slim for my taste but he
did have a sexy baldhead. Erika hated for anybody to touch Dave’s
head so I did it constantly just to bug her.
It was a typical summer in D.C., hot
and humid. Hains Point was crowded as usual. The haze was hovering above
the water of the Potomac River. Like most Washingtonians, I had just
gotten used to the summers, but that day even I was wondering why we
were out in the ninety-five-degree heat.
After driving around for fifteen minutes,
Erika and I finally found a parking space. As we walked toward The Awakening
sculpture, we saw Dave and Ronnie sitting on a park bench under a tree.
"Ronnie knows he is so, so fine.
It should be a crime to look that good,” Erika said, pulling her
sunglasses down to get an untinted view.
I gave her some dap on that one. Ronnie
was definitely looking fine. Every piece of clothing that had the pleasure
of draping his body fit perfectly, and that day was no exception. Jean
shorts and a white wife-beater T-shirt never looked better on anyone.
When we got over to them, they were laughing.
Erika punched Dave in the chest and said, “What y’all laughing
at?”
"Girl, what you hit me for?”
he asked, lifting her off the ground.
"Put me down, Dave.” He started
swinging her around. People on the other side of the water could hear
her screaming.
"Dave, put that fool down,”
I insisted.
He finally put her down.
"Damn you got a big mouth,”
I said.
Erika smiled. “Go to hell. Anyway,
I still want to know what y’all were laughing at.”
"Nothing, girl. You so nosy,”
Dave said.
"Forget you, Dave.” She turned
to Ronnie for an answer. “Ronnie, what were y’all laughing
at?”
I noticed Ronnie’s eyes moving
up and down my body. I felt kind of uncomfortable but at the same time,
I liked him looking at me that way. “I was just commenting on
the fact that I didn’t know Stacey’s legs were that big,”
he answered in a soft voice, still looking at me. Dave and Erika both
laughed. I didn’t find it funny.
All my life, I had a complex about my
legs. I hated them. They were too big, but no matter how much I worked
out, they were still big. I never had any complaints from guys though.
It was a personal thing. In fact, guys seemed to like my legs. I was
always getting called Thickness or something like that.
Erika had talked me into wearing one
of my tennis skirts that day. She always thought my legs were nice and
said that I should show them off more.
"Thank you, Ronnie,” Erika
began. “I tell her all the time she has nice legs but she thinks
they’re too big. If I had legs like Stacey’s, I would have
my butt in some Daisy Dukes and stiletto heels every day.”
We all laughed, and Dave said, “You
know you don’t have no sense, girl.”
"I’m serious.”
"Yo, I love women with nice, big
legs. That’s why I made the comment. It wasn’t like a diss
or nothing.” The more he spoke, the more I liked what I was hearing.
Ronnie continued, “Man, you get some big legs locked around your
back.”
"You sound like you’re speaking
from experience, Ron,” Erika teased.
Ronnie laughed and said, “Ah, let’s
not get into all that.” He took my hand. “I just want you
to know I didn’t mean anything by that, Stace. It was meant as
a compliment. I think your legs are absolutely beautiful.”
I could feel a big smile coming
over my face. I finally managed to say, “Thank you.”
Since Dave and Erika were getting all
lovey-dovey, Ronnie and I decided to leave them alone for a while. We
found a bench near the water and sat there and just talked for a long
time. He told me all about the singing group he was in called Entice.
I found it fitting that he came up with the name for the group since
he was definitely enticing. He and the other guys in the group—Cedric,
André, and Myles—all grew up together in Brooklyn. They
had been working on their demo for a while, and Ronnie hoped it would
be finished some time after Christmas. He said he was going to let me
hear some of the songs one day, so I was looking forward to that.
Sitting there with Ronnie, I realized
how beautiful his face was. His skin was the color of butterscotch—smooth
and creamy looking. His eyes were set deep. His eyebrows were thick
and dark. During our freshman year, he wore his hair in a neat fade,
and then he went through his bald phase. Now, he was growing it out.
His hair looked so thick and soft, and it had just enough curl to it,
to have the jealous brothers calling him a pretty boy. Then there were
the lips…the sexiest lips I had ever seen. Ronnie had L. L. Cool
J lips. They covered straight, pearly white teeth. It was almost inconceivable
that someone could be so gorgeous. Something with him had to be flawed.
Maybe he had messed-up feet, or maybe his manhood was small, but looking
at what I estimated to be around size fourteen shoes, that was doubtful.
Since Ronnie told me his life story,
of course I had to tell him mine. Not that my life, at least up to that
point, had been all that exciting but it was unusual for a family to
have two sets of twins in it, and he seemed really interested in everything
I was saying. That was a refreshing change for me because most of my
conversations with Patrick during that time centered entirely on him
and the “problems” he was having with his father.
I told Ronnie all about my twin brother,
Tracy, and how we had been practically inseparable since the day we
were born. Tracy and I did everything together. When we were young,
my parents thought it would be good for us if we went to separate elementary
schools. We hated that. Every morning we would throw fits. Can you imagine
my mother trying to get four little kids ready for school-two bad ass
nine-year-olds and two crying five-year-olds? It finally got to a point
where my parents knew the separate schools thing wasn’t going
to work.
My mother was kind of disappointed that
Tracy and I didn’t go to separate colleges. I didn’t know
why. I guess she thought as we got older, we would want to go our separate
ways but that didn’t happen. We both decided to go to Howard,
had the same major and when we moved out of the dorms after our sophomore
year, we even got an apartment together. That summer was the first time
in my life I had been away from my twin. Tracy had gotten an internship
in Phoenix, Arizona, and would be gone for both the summer and fall
semesters. Though I loved living by myself, I really missed having my
brother there. But we still talked nearly every day, even though we
were almost three thousand miles apart. My phone bill was ridiculous,
but I didn’t care.
My father always said Tracy was a bad influence on me, but I influenced
Tracy just as much. My daddy just didn’t realize it because I
was daddy’s little girl. My mother, on the other hand, wasn’t
fooled at all. She knew Tracy and I were like Frick and Frack. What
one did, the other would do. Plus, Tracy and I really trusted each other’s
judgment. For example, I think men look so sexy with earrings. So, I
talked Tracy into getting both his ears pierced. And if I had to say
so myself, my twin was kind of fine. He always had some girl running
after him. My parents didn’t really care for the whole earring
thing at first, but it finally grew on them, especially my mother. She
was cool. Actually, my father was cool, too, but he seemed to lose some
of his cool points when it came to me. He almost had a fit when Tracy
talked me into getting a tattoo of a panther on my shoulder.
"Why would you do that to your body?”
he asked every time he saw it.
Secretly, my mother liked it but she
had to keep the peace with her husband so she didn’t say too much
while he was around. I knew he would have a baby if he knew I had gotten
another one on my chest.
"You have a tattoo on your chest?”
Ronnie asked.
"Yeah.”
Ronnie smiled and said, “Can I
see it?” I had been waiting three years to hear Ronnie Morgan
say something like that to me. I felt like just ripping off my shirt
but I had to play it cool.
"No, boy,” I answered.
"What is it?”
"It’s a little elephant.”
"Oh yeah, I forgot you were a Delta.”
"Tracy has a panther on his shoulder,
too, and a dog on his chest.”
"He’s a Que?”
"Please, my father would have it
no other way. He ain’t playing when it comes to his fraternity.
My great-grandfather was a Que, my grandfather is a Que, and my father
is a Que, not to mention all my uncles and cousins. Don’t think
he was going to let one of his sons break the family legacy.”
Ronnie laughed and said, “That’s
deep.”
I couldn’t believe I was telling
Ronnie so much about my family and myself. And even more unbelievable
was the fact that he seemed to really want to hear it. But it was time
for me to get the nitty-gritty on Mr. Ronnie Morgan.
"So, why don’t you have a
girlfriend on campus?”
"Well, I decided a long time ago
that music was going to be my first priority. You know what I’m
saying? I don’t have time to be messing around with no chicken-heads.”
"Excuse me, Mr. Morgan, but, ah,
every girl on campus is not a chicken-head.”
"Yo, they’re either a chicken-head
or out to get a husband, or like you….” He looked at me.
“Got a man already.”
"So you don’t go out at all?”
"I wouldn’t say that now.”
"Do you know how many girls on campus
are lusting after you?”
"Lusting?” he asked, chuckling.
"Well, I can’t think of a
better word.”
"Well, I do realize there are quite
a few females who think they like me.”
"Think?”
"Please, them girls don’t
know me. How they gonna really like me?”
"Well then, you got a whole campus
full of girls who think they like you.”
"Naw, it can’t be the whole
campus, ’cause that would include you.”
I just smiled and thought, Yeah, but
I’m not just thinking that I like you. “You know what I
mean, Ronnie.”
"And how do you know this?”
"Please, I have heard what them
chicks say when you walk past or when you’re out on the court.
Boy, you just don’t know. It’s girls out there who want
to rock your world.”
He started laughing. “You are a
trip. You know that, don’t you?”
"I’m serious. Me and Erika
be trippin’ off them. And you would not believe how many girls
have tried to get all buddy-buddy with Erika trying to get to you.”
"For real?”
"Hell yeah.”
"Y’all girls be buggin’.”
"I’m just letting you know.”
Ronnie wanted to get back to the tattoo
on my chest. He kept asking if he could see it. He was in a silly mood.
He kept leaning close, trying to look down my shirt. I liked him being
that close to me, but I continued playing it off. “Quit playing.”
"Oh, you not gonna let me see your
elephant, Stace? How you gonna play a brother like that?” he teased.
"I don’t go around showing
everybody my elephant. Only certain people get to see it.”
"So, ah, I guess only your man gets
to see it regularly?”
"I wouldn’t say that either.”
"For real?”
"Why are you sounding so surprised?”
I asked.
"I’ve just seen the two of
you on campus, and y’all were doing some hot and heavy kissing.
You know what I’m saying?”
"That doesn’t necessarily
mean….”
"Oh, I know. It’s just that,
y’all have been kicking it for a minute so I just assumed. My
bad.”
"Well I decided a while back that
I was going to chill with that.” Actually, I made that decision
the previous summer.
All my life, I had problems swallowing
pills. So when it came time for birth control, I couldn’t handle
trying to swallow pills every morning. As a result, I had to rely on
the latex method—latex condoms, that is. And last summer, I found
out that method was not one hundred percent.
I was always very regular when it came
to my period, but one day I realized I was about a week late. I panicked.
I called Erika and she brought over a pregnancy test. When I saw that
red plus sign, I almost passed out. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant.
That type of thing didn’t happen to me. The craziest thing was
when I told Patrick, he was actually excited. I didn’t see any
reason for excitement. I had just turned twenty. I was going to be a
junior in college. There was no way I could have a baby. So I decided
the solution was to have an abortion. Patrick was upset, to say the
least. But he let me make the decision. In hindsight, it was the worse
decision I’ve ever made. At the time, I saw no other alternative.
Well there were other alternatives but none that I wanted to deal with.
Every day after the abortion, I prayed for forgiveness. The abortion
is what led to my celibacy. I just couldn’t bring myself to have
sex anymore. Patrick was pretty supportive even though at times, it
did get to him.
The only people who knew about the abortion
were Tracy and Erika. The funny thing was, I really wanted to tell Ronnie
the whole story that afternoon, but I knew it was too soon to share
something that personal. So just as I had done every day since June
24, 1998, I pushed my abortion to the back of my mind as much as I could
and went on with my day.
Ronnie still couldn’t believe I
wasn’t having sex.
"Man, I bet that brother is upset.”
"Why you say that?” I asked.
"’Cause, ah, you look like
you could do a brother right.”
"Do a brother?”
"Yo hold up. I see the sister girl
’bout to come out on me. I didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t
start rolling your neck or nothing.”
I laughed because I really was about
to go there with him.
"For real, I just meant that as
fine as you are—” he looked at me and licked his lips—“and
as sexy as you are, you look like you could have a brother feeling lovely.”
"Now what do you think your boy
would say if he heard you say that to me?”
"Well, first of all, just because
Pat and I play ball together doesn’t mean he’s necessarily
my boy. On the court is one thing, but off the court….”
He shrugged.
I knew what that meant. Everything off
the court was fair game as far as Ronnie was concerned. I kind of liked
that. I shouldn’t have but I did.
"And secondly, I’m just making
an observation. Don’t front like I’m the only brother who
said you were—” his eyes moved over my body—“sexy
as hell.”
"Oh, I didn’t say that.”
"Alright then. Just ’cause
you got a man don’t mean I can’t enjoy the view, right?”
It wasn’t like I didn’t get
a lot of attention from guys but being alone with Ronnie, I felt like
a girl on her first date. I knew I had to be cheesing all over the place.
"Oh, that’s definitely right.”
He laughed as if he wanted to say something
else but I guess he figured if he did, the conversation would go down
a road he didn’t want it to go at the moment.
"What?” I asked, trying to
coax him down the road.
He just continued to laugh and shake
his head. “Nothing, Stace. I’m just trippin’.”
We sat around talking until almost nine
o’clock. The sunset, the water, and Ronnie made for a very romantic
combination. As we walked back toward my car, Ronnie took my hand. A
chill went up my spine and my knees kind of buckled again.
He acted as if he was looking at my rings
and bracelets but I knew what he was up to. I didn’t really mind.
Ronnie’s hands were so soft. He rubbed my hand so gently. As we
approached the car, my hand in his, I realized I was heading for trouble…big
trouble.
Erika and Dave weren’t at the car
but I wasn’t that disappointed. It gave me a few more minutes
alone with Ronnie. I couldn’t believe I was even thinking like
that. I had a boyfriend. But right then, sad to say, Patrick was the
farthest thing from my mind.
Ronnie leaned on the car. “I know
you got a man and everything, Stace,” he began, still playing
with my rings. “But, ah, I was wondering if I could give you a
call sometime.” He looked at me and said, “You know, just
to talk.”
I smiled. As I entered my phone number
into his cell phone, I knew just talking would eventually lead to more
with him.
"I had a really nice time with you
this afternoon, Ms. Jackson.”
I smiled and said, “And I had a
nice time with you, too, Mr. Morgan.”
"Even though you didn’t let
me see your tattoo.”
As Erika and Dave approached the car,
I replied, “Well maybe you’ll get another chance some time.”
Ronnie smiled and nodded.
"Have y’all been waiting long?”
Erika asked.
"Naw, not really,” I answered,
quickly taking my hand from Ronnie.
"Well, Ron man, you ’bout
ready to jet?”
"Yeah, I’m ready.”
Dave kissed Erika and said, “I’ll
see you in about two hours.”
"Alright.”
"Later, Ms. Stacey.”
"Later, Dave. Bye, Ronnie.”
"Alright, Stace.”
As they walked away, I couldn’t
help but shake my head. Ronnie Morgan was one fine brother. Sometimes,
I couldn’t believe how fine he was. Every time I looked at him,
I just wanted to jump on him. And after hearing him talk about how he
liked women with big legs, I wanted to jump on him and wrap my big legs
around his back just the way he said he liked it.
"Put your eyes back in your head
and get in the car.” Erika’s voice snapped me back to reality.
I laughed and we got in the car. As we pulled away I said, “I
was just looking. Is that a crime?”
"No but I know that look.
You do have a man, you know.”
"Yeah, I know,” I replied
dryly. “I’ve been telling myself that all afternoon. Shit,
when we were walking back to the car, he took my hand, and I swear,
if someone would have asked me my boyfriend’s name right then,
I couldn’t have told them.” Erika laughed, but I was dead
serious.
"You better watch yourself. If another
brother is making you forget your man’s name, you might be in
trouble.” She didn’t know how close to the truth she was.
July 21, 1999 - 11:30 p.m.
I spent the day at Hains Point with Ronnie,
Erika and Dave—but mostly with Ronnie. He and I went walking and
we got to know each other a lot better. He’s really a nice guy.
That’s a plus. I mean being fine is one thing but being nice is
all the better. He told me I have beautiful legs and that I’m
sexy. I can’t believe Ronnie Morgan thinks I’m sexy. Not
that I haven’t been told that before, but it felt different coming
from him. He also told me how much he enjoyed talking and getting to
know me better. I enjoyed it too! I realized, more than ever that Ronnie
is without question the type of guy I could get with. Now all I have
to do is get rid of Patrick. (Just kidding.)
All jokes aside, I do still like Patrick
but this is Ronnie Morgan. I have wanted him for three years. Besides,
even though I still like Patrick, things with us are continuing to go
downhill. I feel bad because I know Patrick is going through changes
with his father still and I need to be there for him, but the only thing
I can think about is being with Ronnie.
I don’t want to hurt Patrick but
on the serious tip, I will not pass up an opportunity to get with Ronnie.
It may sound bad but I’m not.
